I had a dream....

I had a dream about my Grandpa Nulliner. We use to live in his house years ago. That's where this dream took place. The kids, who were still little, were playing in my bedroom and broke the glass in the window which in that tiny house was literally an arm's reach from the side of my bed. As Gary was working on patching it with some plastic to keep things safe, my grandpa pop his head in and took over repairing the glass. He was young man in my dream...not the old, frail, mentally ill person I last saw before he died. After repairing the window he spent the day with us...Nate and Yurie were there and he gave them a run for their money. My children did not know my grandpa nulliner. Garrett spent time with him when he was just a toddler, but grandpa died before Kim was born. As the dream progressed, we all visited with him and then he said he had to go...which was okay at that moment I was just glad my kids got to meet him and spend some time with him...as I was slowly waking up I breifly saw his face...the one I remember as a child and very tenderly he said, Verda, I love you.....and he was gone instantly. I could feel the tears well up in my eyes as I awakened and soon i was weeping because I could still feel him saying he loved me. It was but a few second and I was sobbing. I did not realize how much I miss my grandpa. It has been a very long time since I have seen him or heard his voice.
Last month about this same time, I was missing my grandchildren. I was thinking about baby nate and how I miss his sweet little face. Sometimes he would look up at me with a crooked little grin, those blue eyes and tossled white hair. Suddenly I could see my grandpa Moreno....same crooked smile, same blue eyes, same tossled white hair. Again the tears and the weeping and the sobbing. Poor Gary, he has had to endure all of this. I hadn't seen my grandpa Moreno since his funeral...lying in his casket looking very peaceful. I remember walking by and stopping to look at him and I didn't think but I bent over and kissed him on the check and it startled me that he was sooooo cold. Grandpa was always very hot. He worked outside, driving a tractor on a farm. I never felt his face that it was warmed by the sun. You can imagine how shocking this experience was for me. I was about 14. I pulled back with a jerk and began crying uncontrollably. That was not my grandpa...where was he? To see him in baby nate was very comforting that day.

I do not know much about my grandfathers, very, very, little. However, what I do know is that they both loved me and would tell me often. This is all I think I ever need to know about them. I find it odd that it's my grandfathers I relate to, not my grandmothers. Although my grandmothers were loving and caring and taught me many good life skills, I miss my grandpas....It was reallly wonderful to see them if only for a brief moment. I know I will see them again in Paradise. Thanks Grandpa for coming to visit....I love you too.